The Lonely Guy

Having twins is a blessing, but also challenging at the same time.  Maybe it would be easier if they were both boys or both girls, but I have what I have and I am so happy to have my children.  They are definitely a gift from God.  These two are as different as night and day.  Mikayla is the social butterfly.  She thrives on playdates, being the center of attention and having a multitude of friends.  Mikayla can make a life long friend visiting a museum, playing at the ocean or at a McDonald's PlayPlace.  Mikayla can say the words, "Mommy I want a playdate!"  Within an hour, she is playing at someone's house, invited for a sleepover, or has a friend coming over.
Michael tries so hard to have friends and make playdates with children.  Yesterday we went to pick up our share from our wonderful CSA, and off Mikayla goes for 4 hours to play with the farmer's daughter.  Michael wanted to go to, but since our friends have 2 girls of that play age, Michael had to stay in the car and go with mommy.  As we were in the van doing errands, Michael wants to call this friend and that friend for a playdate.  I hand him my phone, and he dials Lance (his best friend), but there is no answer.  He dials Lance's number 4 times without leaving a message on the machine.  I said, "Michael leave a message!"  He says no and that he is sure they are just outside and will answer the phone.  I told him that it is rude to call and call and call and never leave a message.  So he decides to call his friend Joey.  Joey is busy today.  He calls his friend Brandon, but his mom is having company over for her birthday.  She thankfully says, "Yes, Michael you can come over....... a week from today."  He calls his friend Emily.  NOTHING. He calls Alex, someone he likes but never really plays with.  No answer.
"I'm sorry buddy," I say sympathetically.  "Do you want to go grocery shopping with me?  Or stay at home?" He decides to stay home.  One of the adults in the house such as daddy, Ally, Tracy or Molly can watch him.  As I pull out of the driveway he sits on his Big Wheel all alone in the driveway.  My heart breaks for him.
Mikayla has had 5 sleepovers this summer.  Michael had one.  Mikayla had a playdate practically every week.  Michael had 1 playdate all summer.  I don't know if it is just easier for girls to have playdates, and boys just don't do that sort of thing?  I don't know if his autism has made it difficult to really have a close friend, or the close friend that he does have (Lance) is just too busy with family things to really have playdates.  I don't know.  I can't tell.
I feel so sad everytime Mikayla goes trotting off to a friend's house, and tells Michael he can't come because he is a boy.  I weep inside when Michael looks up at me and says, "Why can't I have a playdate too?  Why won't my friends ever call me?  Why won't anybody ever answer?"  Since we don't have family out here on the East Coast, he can't play with any cousins.  Since we live in kind of a rural area, it is harder to just walk next door and play with friends.  I try so hard to help Michael find playdates.  He REALLY wants to be social.  He is so much more social than many of the other children who have autism.  I love him so much, I just wish it was easier to make friends Somewhere Over the Spectrum.