Internally and Externally Distracted

When we brought Michael up to the CHAD center at Dartmouth Hitchcock, Lebanon, one comment stood out in my mind about Michael.  The doctors there said that he was, "Internally and Externally Distracted."  I thought about that phrase again today as I picked up the twins from a Math Play Date.  (This is a play date in which my friend, who was a former teacher, gives the children an hour or so of more challenging math, then the kids have a fun play date).

Mikayla, Ethan and Michael playing with an IPAD

My friend, Tammy, who has these play dates for about eight first graders, emailed me the other day and said, "Michael never wants to eat snack while he is here.  He says he isn't hungry, and will continue to play a game, work on the computer, or solve problems.  Is there a food he really likes to eat?"  I told her that he liked blueberries a lot, but not to worry if he doesn't break away from what he is doing.  He gets totally engrossed in something, and it is hard to break him away from that, even to go to the bathroom.

So today I go to pick them up, and Michael is at the computer totally immersed in a new computer math game.  All of the other children are in the play room, playing or outside in the snow.  I go over to Michael and tell him that I'm there and it is time to go home now.  He looks up from the computer and says, "I'm really hungry and thirsty!"  Tammy had given the kids snacks hours before.  Michael said he didn't want any and continued to play the math games on the computer.  Tammy said, "Oh no Michael, I had bought blueberries for you....."  Michael smiles happily, "Blueberries!  Yum Blueberries!  I want some Blueberries!"  Then Tammy had to tell him that they were all gone because all of the other kids ate them all up.  Michael did not break away from what he was doing to eat his favorite snack.  So Michael settled for a banana.

As Michael was eating his banana, he started to hold his crotch and dance around.  Again he was so hyper-focused in what he was doing, he had forgotten to go to the bathroom.  This is a daily occurrence at our house and I know the signs as sure as I know the back of my hand.  I always have to say to him, "Michael, go potty, go potty NOW!"  He will always dance around like that then tell me he doesn't have to go.  He doesn't want to leave whatever he is doing.  It seems to be worse with computer time.
When he is not internally distracted, he can be externally distracted and not seem to pay attention to verbal directions.  Sometimes I think, "Could he be ADD or ADHD?  Could this just be his autism?  Is there a relationship between autism and ADD/ADHD?  Could Michael be misdiagnosed?"  These questions often come up in my head.

Michael and "Sissy" Amora at Christmas

I was talking with my step daughter Amora, the other day.  Amora is 24 and living on her own.  I became her "mom" about 10 years ago when she was starting high school.  She isn't a "step daughter" to me, she is just as much as my own as Mikayla is.  Anyway, she was saying to me, "Mom, I think I might be on the spectrum.  You know the whole time I was in grade school, middle school and high school I thought I was just ADD.  I've been reading your blogs about Michael, and I have a lot of the same characteristics as he does.  Maybe I was misdiagnosed and I have some form of autism.  I thought about that for a while, and it could very well be.  It runs in the family.  Her two brothers have it, and I think her father has it as well.  Chris's Uncle had it, but they didn't really know what to call it back then.  She really didn't have any friends, or any close friends.  She wasn't the kind of kid to want to go to the prom, football games or any social events.  She was on some medicine to help her concentrate, because we thought she was ADD.  Could we have been wrong?

Can autism look like ADD or ADHD and vice versa?  How do you weed it out?  How do you separate it?  Could Michael very well have both?  I'd like to know if anybody out there has figured this one out!