GO POTTY....GO POTTY NOW!

Many autistic children have difficulty initially getting potty trained, and even if they do get potty trained, many times there are accidents that follow for a long time afterward.  This has been true for Michael.

Michael is a twin, and I think that is a good thing.  He has a sibling, a very bossy sibling, who is the same age.  Mikayla was trained by the age of two without any problems at all.  She got to go to the private pre-school early because she was potty trained.  Not so for Michael.  If I remember right, he got potty trained by the time he was four.  I think this is a pretty good age for #1 being  a boy and #2  being a boy with autism.

Chris with the twins when they were 3.
 Mikayla trained, Michael not so much.

Even though he was mostly potty trained we continue to pack a "just in case" bag in his backpack for school. This "just in case bag" usually has a pair of underwear and pants, just in case of an accident.  He used it a few times during this last school year (first grade), and the one time I had cleaned out his bag and didn't put a "just in case" bag in his backpack, was the one time that he had a really big accident and there weren't any extra clothes for him.  That was the day that I had to run home very quickly, and missed co-teaching my 3rd grade math class.  *sigh  Luckily I work at the same school as the twins, so everyone was extremely forgiving.

So what is happening in Michael's head when he has an accident.  I believe it is called, "I am too busy doing what I am doing, and I don't have time for any interruptions, even if it is myself that is interrupting."  Many times he is building with his blocks, watching a TV show, or is on the computer playing a fun computer game.  I watch him clutching his crotch and practically dancing around the room.  I say to him, "Go potty, GO POTTY NOW!"  Sometimes he will run off and go to the bathroom just making it by the skin of his teeth.  Other time he will refuse, "I don't have to go to the bathroom," he replies, his eyes fixed on the computer screen and his dancing getting worse and worse.

Lately we have had many accidents in a row.  One was caused in the kitchen (thank goodness...easy to clean floor), in his swim suit.  He was trying to get a cup of water for himself and was stuck there.  His dilemma was to either finish getting the glass of water, or hurry off to the bathroom.  He chose the first option and peed on the floor.  The next day we had an accident up in his bedroom, he was playing with blocks and had to go, he stood there screaming from his bedroom holding himself.  He was stuck and couldn't "go anywhere",  he was holding handfuls of pee and was afraid to move.  I couldn't help him, as I am stuck on the couch with a broken foot (long story) and he was having a melt down because no one was coming to help him.  He then had two more accidents that day, so there was 4 in a matter of 2 days.  What in the

Having a broken foot that has 5 fusions is not easy
when you have an autistic kid.

world?

It doesn't help to get mad or upset at him.  I think when we do that, it kind of gets worse.  We talk to him and tell him he needs to be more aware of this situation.  Michael says, "I will try mommy."  This cannot be any good for his self esteem.  This isn't any good for his social image.  Right now first and second graders don't catch on as quickly, but in third and fourth grade?  He is going to be the "baby" who wets his pants and has to have him mommy pack him extra underwear.




Well, I blame the onslaught of accidents on summer vacation.  There isn't a real routine this last week before we go back to school.  There is no camp, no swim team.  The twins are sleeping in later.  There isn't a real schedule.  Michael thrives on schedule.  There is also too many "fun" things going on.  It is very hard for my "normal" kid, much less my autistic kid to break away from such fun.

I also believe that all of these accidents might be a sensory issue.  I do not think that Michael realizes he has to go half of the time until it is way too late.  Maybe he thinks he can get to the bathroom on time.  Does he actually feel the sensation to have to urinate?  Maybe the sensation is muted.

I also say in the back of my mind, maybe this is an attention deficit thing.  Many autistic children are also diagnosed ADD or ADHD.  Sometimes I think, "Maybe we should try ADD medicine, then he would pay attention to his body and go to the bathroom on time."  I am not one for medicine, but I slowly find Michael paying less and less attention.  I'll wait tho and see what his second grade teacher says.  If it is starting to affect academics in school, then we might have to seriously look at this.

We are looking forward to starting school again.  We will be on a more predictable routine, and hopefully we will have less accidents.  I will be packing a "just in case" bag again for second grade.  I will probably be packing this bag for a long time, because Michael will always be "Somewhere Over the Spectrum."

Sensory Overload

We are very fortunate to have a child who is High Functioning Autistic and not have too many sensory issues.  I have seen many other children with way worse problems with touch, taste, sight, smell and sound issues than Michael.  Still, on occasion, we do get the melt down from sensory overload.  It mostly comes in the form of sound and sometimes touch.

Michael's sensitivity to sound depends on a lot of things.  Sometimes when I think he will react to a sound, he doesn't.  Sometimes he reacts to sound that I didn't think would bother him.  Overtime we are learning what might and might not set him off.  It also depends on if he is tired or sick.

The first sound that is too much for him is the fire alarm at school.  He has his dead phones that he wears when that alarm goes off.  He also has difficulty in the gym with large assemblies.  He will bring his dead phones and will put them on through various parts of the assembly.

Michael with deadphone and having difficulty with noise

Church is another area that he has a lot of difficulty.  When we moved to Jaffrey, NH about a year and a half ago, I was trying out various churches to see what would be a good fit for our family.  As I began the church shopping, I went with the twins to some Christian churches that had Christian rock bands.  The noise from these bands was too much for Michael.  He would stand next to me, covering his ears.  He even got to the point of literally hitting me.  He needed to get out of there and I had to make my excuses.  "Sorry, he is autistic and the music is too much for him."

The old fashioned churches seem a lot better.  Piano music doesn't set him off, but when a church would play the big organ that was enough to make him want to escape right away.  When we lived in Hinsdale, NH and we were going to the United Church of Winchester he knew what to expect.  He would stand in church with me and sing out of the hymn book.  He seemed more comfortable there, and we need to find a church around here that is similar in nature.

When he goes to karate that takes place in that same school gym, he has a hard time with listening.  He has gotten a lot better, and he is getting used to the acoustics.

One day I got the brilliant idea that the twins were going to help with "other" chores.  Michael was standing there and I said, "Here Michael why don't you vacuum for mommy!  Just vacuum the rug in the dining room."  I went off to do other chores and get Mikayla started on something.  All of a sudden the vacuum goes on and I hear screaming.  Chris comes out of his office and quickly shuts off the vacuum.  He gave me a look that said, "WHAT were you thinking???!!!"  That's just it, I wasn't thinking.  The vacuum was obviously too much sensory input for Michael.  Duh!

Michael will sometimes get frustrated too if there is "too much talking".  If an adult or anyone else is explaining things and going "on and on", Michael will tell them to stop talking.  When he was younger he would stick out his hand to indicate, "stop".   Too much "talking at him" will get him confused, frustrated and could possibly lead to a melt down.

Another area that is less of a problem is touch.  He often likes deep pressure such as hugs or holding.  He has never had to be "brushed", but does enjoy the deep pressure of the roller at his old school in Hinsdale.  Michael likes to touch knitted things.  He has collected all knitted blankets that were made for the twins when they were born, and has claimed them all as his own.  His blankets or "woobies" come in all colors, blue, white, seafoam green, yellow, purple and he has even taken over his sister's pink woobie.  When he holds his woobie, he often sucks his thumb for comfort.  He says he LOVES his woobie and will often ask to take it out of the house on a car ride.  We have to be careful and make sure he keeps it in the house for night time because we don't want him to go sucking his thumb in public.  I'm glad we don't have a lot of problems with socks or tags sticking out of the back, but we usually get shirts that don't have the tag. 

When Dale (Michael's half brother who is now 22 years old) lived with us back in Maryland, we had a lot of taste/texture sensory issues with him.  He never wanted to put any kind of sauce on anything.  One day I was making Dale a hamburger and asked him if he wanted cheese on it.  I thought he had said, "Yes", but was sorely mistaken when I delivered the cheeseburger to the table.  "What is THIS?"  Dale started having a melt down.  I quickly took it away and peeled the slice of cheese off the burger.  I gave the hamburger to Dale but didn't see a miniscule piece of cheese on the very corner.  He refused to eat the hamburger and that whole incident opened my mind to what the world of autism was really like.