Last week our school had "Winter Carnival". It is a fun day where the kids get to spend the day outdoors tubing, snow shoeing and other exciting winter activities. Michael did not want to go. I had no idea why he didn't want to go, except he said he would be too cold. The day was actually up to the mid 40's and I thought it was a perfect day to go do this. We sent him on the bus and off he went to "Winter Carnival".
I discover later in the week why he didn't want to go. He was "too cold". He really WAS cold, wet and miserable. This was because he had gaping holes in the toes of his winter boots. I was shocked at the state of these boots and wondered why he hadn't mentioned this fact to me.
"How long have you had these holes in your boots buddy?" I ask him.
"A very long time." he responds.
He loves his Wal-mart winter boots from last year. They have Spiderman on them. They are comfortable and slip on. He doesn't have to worry about tying shoes. They are familiar. I don't think he ever would have mentioned that they had holes in them as large as the Grand Canyon. He would never mention this because of his autism.
We had this problem with Dale too (Chris's oldest son from his first marriage). Dale would wear t-shirts until they were 3 sizes too small. He would wear shoes that were too small on him. He needed coaxing to actually change his underwear everyday. So what is it with autistic kids and clothes? I know it is partially a texture thing. The clothes have to "feel right". I also believe it is either something they don't notice because it isn't important (unless it feels funny) or it is familiar or routine to them.
I bought Michael a new shirt 3 weeks ago now. It is still sitting in his drawer. I have put it on "top" of the drawer every time I go in there to put away clothes. I asked him, "Hey buddy? Why haven't you worn your new shirt yet?" He says, "Well I saw it, but I didn't know it was mine."
"What???????"
"Yes Buddy, that shirt is yours. Mommy bought it for you. It is nice and new and soft and has a hoodie like your other one...."
Has he worn it yet? NOPE, NADA, NOT AT ALL. He is so opposite of me. As soon as I get a new item of clothing, I have to wear it the next day. Not Michael! We have to struggle to throw away old sweat pants that have holes in the knees. The kid goes to school looking like a waif! Half the time he goes to school with floods on. We have to slowly phase these things out so he doesn't notice.
So will my autistic son every be "sporting the latest fashion?" I think not. He might never do modeling for GQ, or probably ever getting a job that requires much more than sweat pants and hoodies, but I love him more than words can say. He is definitely comfortable to say the least.
So is it texture? Is it that new clothes just aren't that important? Do autistic people just not notice these things, or are clothes so petty they are at the very bottom of their awareness level? Whatever it is, it is definitely one of the many indicators that he is "Somewhere Over the Spectrum."
Wednesday, February 26, 2014
Wednesday, February 5, 2014
Many little blow ups? Or just one big one?
It has been quite a while since I've written about Michael and posted to my blog. We have been quite busy, but since today is a snow day, I have time to get my thoughts down in writing.
We have had a pretty smooth couple of months, no major outbursts or strange idiosyncrasies to mention. I have noticed that Michael has had the "mad face" quite often lately, and I feel like I'm always trying to avert a major blow up. He has had an increasing amount of "little mad times", but I have been quick to distract him and take a detour before something major happens.
Ally said to me, "Is it good to constantly head him off at the pass? Or should we actually let him have a major melt down? Is he having many little outbursts because he really needs to let off steam and have a major blow up?"
She has a point. We really should schedule an appointment up at the CHAD center. He is suppose to go in at least once a year to check on how he is doing with his autism. We haven't been up to CHAD since the end of his kindergarten year. YIKES it has almost been two years since we've seen anybody. This would be a good question to ask the doctors, and as soon as I'm done writing this blog I'm going to schedule an appointment.
One example of a "little mad time" was that we were sitting at the dinner table, and I noticed Michael is not eating and just has a big frown upon his face. Many of the other adults were in conversation and I leaned over to Michael and said, "What's wrong Michael? You look very mad."
"I am VERY MAD!" he states.
"Why are you so mad Michael?"
"I am very, very MAD because you promised me that I could get the Wayside School books to read and we don't have ANY!" he yells.
I quickly come to the rescue by saying, "Michael, you haven't used your birthday gift card from your brother Dale, we can order those books right now."
Chris says, "Not right now, after dinner."
"Yes, yes", I reassure him, "Right after dinner!"
I have been like that for months now, trying to pacify him before anything "happens". I feel like I have become the parent of Veruca Salt from Willy Wonka. I don't want to give in and I know I can't make everything easier for him. I know that I should not be rescuing him all of the time. I need to let Michael experience failure, and have him make his own successes. I can't be afraid of Michael blow ups, and maybe it is healthier that he has them.
For those of you with kids somewhere on the spectrum, what is your opinion? Is it better to have a big melt down? Are many little "mads" leading up to a huge explosion? Do any of you try to avert the blow ups by any means possible? Have any of you been in this place of trying to pacify your child so nothing major happens?
We have had a pretty smooth couple of months, no major outbursts or strange idiosyncrasies to mention. I have noticed that Michael has had the "mad face" quite often lately, and I feel like I'm always trying to avert a major blow up. He has had an increasing amount of "little mad times", but I have been quick to distract him and take a detour before something major happens.
Ally said to me, "Is it good to constantly head him off at the pass? Or should we actually let him have a major melt down? Is he having many little outbursts because he really needs to let off steam and have a major blow up?"
She has a point. We really should schedule an appointment up at the CHAD center. He is suppose to go in at least once a year to check on how he is doing with his autism. We haven't been up to CHAD since the end of his kindergarten year. YIKES it has almost been two years since we've seen anybody. This would be a good question to ask the doctors, and as soon as I'm done writing this blog I'm going to schedule an appointment.
One example of a "little mad time" was that we were sitting at the dinner table, and I noticed Michael is not eating and just has a big frown upon his face. Many of the other adults were in conversation and I leaned over to Michael and said, "What's wrong Michael? You look very mad."
"I am VERY MAD!" he states.
"Why are you so mad Michael?"
"I am very, very MAD because you promised me that I could get the Wayside School books to read and we don't have ANY!" he yells.
I quickly come to the rescue by saying, "Michael, you haven't used your birthday gift card from your brother Dale, we can order those books right now."
Chris says, "Not right now, after dinner."
"Yes, yes", I reassure him, "Right after dinner!"
I have been like that for months now, trying to pacify him before anything "happens". I feel like I have become the parent of Veruca Salt from Willy Wonka. I don't want to give in and I know I can't make everything easier for him. I know that I should not be rescuing him all of the time. I need to let Michael experience failure, and have him make his own successes. I can't be afraid of Michael blow ups, and maybe it is healthier that he has them.
For those of you with kids somewhere on the spectrum, what is your opinion? Is it better to have a big melt down? Are many little "mads" leading up to a huge explosion? Do any of you try to avert the blow ups by any means possible? Have any of you been in this place of trying to pacify your child so nothing major happens?
Saturday, October 12, 2013
Rigid, Inflexible Thinking
The other day Michael's teacher came to my room to tell me about a little incident. She was in a meeting, so she didn't witness it firsthand, but the Title 1 teacher that works with second grade did witness it. Michael has a new boy in his class. Many of the classes are given a number at the beginning of the year. Your number is because of alphabetical order. For example Michael is number 4, because his last name is Johnson. There are only 3 other students with last names that are before letter J. Michael has number 4 on his crayon container, and he lines up as the fourth student in line no matter where they go.
The new boy enters the picture, with a last name that starts with a letter before Michael's "J". Instead of moving everyone down a number (telling Michael he is now number 5 instead of number 4), they give the new boy #16. This is suppose to help so everyone after the new boy doesn't have to change his number. So in Michael's mind, #16 is at the end of the line, so the new boy needs to line up at the end. This is not the case because they still put the new kid ahead of Michael because of alphabetical order.
Make sense so far?
Well, not to Michael. For an autistic child who thrives on order, this is totally wrong. If the kid is number 16, he should be at the back of the line. So Michael said this. He got mad. Then he said, "And he is black so he needs to go to the end of the line!" WHOA! Wait a minute! Our family is practically the most culturally diverse family around. We expose the children to all religions, different cultures and there really isn't a prejudice bone in any of our body. So why in the world did he say that?
I guess a few days before, they were reading in the kids magazine about Rosa Parks and the whole bus incident and how blacks had to go to the back of the bus. Yes, Michael they did....but that was the year 1963 or something! Here is another case of a language issue and the typical autistic child not really comprehending a sense of time.
So the teachers had to explain to him that we do not treat black people like that, that the new kid isn't exactly black, he is Hispanic and they had to show him the alphabet to get him to realize that the boy's last name is close to the beginning of the alphabet. This was very hard for Michael to accept.
When I talked to him about it yesterday morning, he put his hands over his ears and didn't want to hear about it. I don't blame him, it is confusing. Michael's little ordered world is now spinning out of order. After I told Chris, he went as far to say, "Well, the teachers lied to him." I asked Chris, "How is that?" He said, "They really don't base things on their number, they do it alphabetically. So technically they do not line up by number, they line up alphabetically. Many autistic people do not tolerate lies at all, even if it doesn't seem like a lie to the "norm". Things are in black and while for them, there is no "give" so to speak.
Luckily, Michael adapts fairly quickly. He uses a lot of his strategies and coping mechanisms to move on. This could have been a real disaster, but instead Michael turned it around. He even made 2 clay owls in art class, and then when the new kid came and didn't have an owl to paint, Michael quickly gave up his extra owl to the new boy. He is a sweetie and I'm very proud of him. Yet this is just another example of how rigid one can be when you are "Somewhere Over the Spectrum."
Make sense so far?
Well, not to Michael. For an autistic child who thrives on order, this is totally wrong. If the kid is number 16, he should be at the back of the line. So Michael said this. He got mad. Then he said, "And he is black so he needs to go to the end of the line!" WHOA! Wait a minute! Our family is practically the most culturally diverse family around. We expose the children to all religions, different cultures and there really isn't a prejudice bone in any of our body. So why in the world did he say that?
I guess a few days before, they were reading in the kids magazine about Rosa Parks and the whole bus incident and how blacks had to go to the back of the bus. Yes, Michael they did....but that was the year 1963 or something! Here is another case of a language issue and the typical autistic child not really comprehending a sense of time.
So the teachers had to explain to him that we do not treat black people like that, that the new kid isn't exactly black, he is Hispanic and they had to show him the alphabet to get him to realize that the boy's last name is close to the beginning of the alphabet. This was very hard for Michael to accept.
When I talked to him about it yesterday morning, he put his hands over his ears and didn't want to hear about it. I don't blame him, it is confusing. Michael's little ordered world is now spinning out of order. After I told Chris, he went as far to say, "Well, the teachers lied to him." I asked Chris, "How is that?" He said, "They really don't base things on their number, they do it alphabetically. So technically they do not line up by number, they line up alphabetically. Many autistic people do not tolerate lies at all, even if it doesn't seem like a lie to the "norm". Things are in black and while for them, there is no "give" so to speak.
Luckily, Michael adapts fairly quickly. He uses a lot of his strategies and coping mechanisms to move on. This could have been a real disaster, but instead Michael turned it around. He even made 2 clay owls in art class, and then when the new kid came and didn't have an owl to paint, Michael quickly gave up his extra owl to the new boy. He is a sweetie and I'm very proud of him. Yet this is just another example of how rigid one can be when you are "Somewhere Over the Spectrum."
Friday, September 27, 2013
Great School Year So Far
I must say that this year has gone off without a hitch. Michael started second grade, and he is doing very well. The day before school started our school had "Sneak a Peek" night. This is a night where the kids can meet the teachers and see where their classroom is going to be so they are not as nervous on the first day of school. Michael was excited to see his classroom. His teacher has a pet lizard, probably the only class pet in the entire school. I must say that she is a COOL teacher!
All of the other children were coming to visit and Michael sees a boy that was in his class last year. I guess that this boy last year told a "lie" to him, or the teacher so Michael comes right out and says, "Johnny is a liar!" He goes over to this kids mom and explains to her that her son is a liar. I guess it must be difficult for some autistic people to monitor what they say. It came out as bold as brass. I nonchalantly went over to Michael and said, "Hey, let's go to your sister's room! Let's go see Mikayla's second grade teacher." I, of course did not want to confront the mother, who was looking in a state of shock. I wanted to escape with Michael in tow and distract him from saying anything further about his little lying friend. I just don't think Michael can sensor what he says at all.
Michael is honest. I believe that most autistic people are the most honest people that you would ever meet. He is definitely not a fence sitter like his dear old mom. He does not lie, and when others tell a lie, it is pretty much as bad as being an ax murderer. The other day he was reading on a program called RAZ kids. (A really cool program for kids to read online), and he was on a fairly long time. He finally says to me, "I must confess mom that I took the quiz for that book 8 times."
"Eight TIMES!" I exclaim, "Why did you take it eight times? Did you read the story first?"
"No, mom I just kept taking the quiz so I could earn the points." So even if he "cheats", he won't lie about it, he comes right out and tells you point blank what he did.
Michael has had pretty good behavior. We've only had 1 incident in 4 whole weeks of school! He told me he had to visit the "Hokey Pokey Room" (where you turn yourself around) because he was playing Ga Ga and got really mad at the kids. The kids were trying to get him "out" on purpose. He said they were making fun of him, and he was almost going to punch the boy, but ended up slapping him instead. He was trying to control himself, he could of beat up the kid, but only did a medium-ish slap instead.
He hasn't freaked out over any fire drill, and he hasn't had any other major issues. I'm so happy that we are starting out with a great year!
All of the other children were coming to visit and Michael sees a boy that was in his class last year. I guess that this boy last year told a "lie" to him, or the teacher so Michael comes right out and says, "Johnny is a liar!" He goes over to this kids mom and explains to her that her son is a liar. I guess it must be difficult for some autistic people to monitor what they say. It came out as bold as brass. I nonchalantly went over to Michael and said, "Hey, let's go to your sister's room! Let's go see Mikayla's second grade teacher." I, of course did not want to confront the mother, who was looking in a state of shock. I wanted to escape with Michael in tow and distract him from saying anything further about his little lying friend. I just don't think Michael can sensor what he says at all.
 | |
| Mikayla and Michael on their first day of school. |
Michael is honest. I believe that most autistic people are the most honest people that you would ever meet. He is definitely not a fence sitter like his dear old mom. He does not lie, and when others tell a lie, it is pretty much as bad as being an ax murderer. The other day he was reading on a program called RAZ kids. (A really cool program for kids to read online), and he was on a fairly long time. He finally says to me, "I must confess mom that I took the quiz for that book 8 times."
"Eight TIMES!" I exclaim, "Why did you take it eight times? Did you read the story first?"
"No, mom I just kept taking the quiz so I could earn the points." So even if he "cheats", he won't lie about it, he comes right out and tells you point blank what he did.
Michael has had pretty good behavior. We've only had 1 incident in 4 whole weeks of school! He told me he had to visit the "Hokey Pokey Room" (where you turn yourself around) because he was playing Ga Ga and got really mad at the kids. The kids were trying to get him "out" on purpose. He said they were making fun of him, and he was almost going to punch the boy, but ended up slapping him instead. He was trying to control himself, he could of beat up the kid, but only did a medium-ish slap instead.
He hasn't freaked out over any fire drill, and he hasn't had any other major issues. I'm so happy that we are starting out with a great year!
Tuesday, August 20, 2013
GO POTTY....GO POTTY NOW!
Many autistic children have difficulty initially getting potty trained, and even if they do get potty trained, many times there are accidents that follow for a long time afterward. This has been true for Michael.
Michael is a twin, and I think that is a good thing. He has a sibling, a very bossy sibling, who is the same age. Mikayla was trained by the age of two without any problems at all. She got to go to the private pre-school early because she was potty trained. Not so for Michael. If I remember right, he got potty trained by the time he was four. I think this is a pretty good age for #1 being a boy and #2 being a boy with autism.
Even though he was mostly potty trained we continue to pack a "just in case" bag in his backpack for school. This "just in case bag" usually has a pair of underwear and pants, just in case of an accident. He used it a few times during this last school year (first grade), and the one time I had cleaned out his bag and didn't put a "just in case" bag in his backpack, was the one time that he had a really big accident and there weren't any extra clothes for him. That was the day that I had to run home very quickly, and missed co-teaching my 3rd grade math class. *sigh Luckily I work at the same school as the twins, so everyone was extremely forgiving.
So what is happening in Michael's head when he has an accident. I believe it is called, "I am too busy doing what I am doing, and I don't have time for any interruptions, even if it is myself that is interrupting." Many times he is building with his blocks, watching a TV show, or is on the computer playing a fun computer game. I watch him clutching his crotch and practically dancing around the room. I say to him, "Go potty, GO POTTY NOW!" Sometimes he will run off and go to the bathroom just making it by the skin of his teeth. Other time he will refuse, "I don't have to go to the bathroom," he replies, his eyes fixed on the computer screen and his dancing getting worse and worse.
Lately we have had many accidents in a row. One was caused in the kitchen (thank goodness...easy to clean floor), in his swim suit. He was trying to get a cup of water for himself and was stuck there. His dilemma was to either finish getting the glass of water, or hurry off to the bathroom. He chose the first option and peed on the floor. The next day we had an accident up in his bedroom, he was playing with blocks and had to go, he stood there screaming from his bedroom holding himself. He was stuck and couldn't "go anywhere", he was holding handfuls of pee and was afraid to move. I couldn't help him, as I am stuck on the couch with a broken foot (long story) and he was having a melt down because no one was coming to help him. He then had two more accidents that day, so there was 4 in a matter of 2 days. What in the
world?
It doesn't help to get mad or upset at him. I think when we do that, it kind of gets worse. We talk to him and tell him he needs to be more aware of this situation. Michael says, "I will try mommy." This cannot be any good for his self esteem. This isn't any good for his social image. Right now first and second graders don't catch on as quickly, but in third and fourth grade? He is going to be the "baby" who wets his pants and has to have him mommy pack him extra underwear.
Well, I blame the onslaught of accidents on summer vacation. There isn't a real routine this last week before we go back to school. There is no camp, no swim team. The twins are sleeping in later. There isn't a real schedule. Michael thrives on schedule. There is also too many "fun" things going on. It is very hard for my "normal" kid, much less my autistic kid to break away from such fun.
I also believe that all of these accidents might be a sensory issue. I do not think that Michael realizes he has to go half of the time until it is way too late. Maybe he thinks he can get to the bathroom on time. Does he actually feel the sensation to have to urinate? Maybe the sensation is muted.
I also say in the back of my mind, maybe this is an attention deficit thing. Many autistic children are also diagnosed ADD or ADHD. Sometimes I think, "Maybe we should try ADD medicine, then he would pay attention to his body and go to the bathroom on time." I am not one for medicine, but I slowly find Michael paying less and less attention. I'll wait tho and see what his second grade teacher says. If it is starting to affect academics in school, then we might have to seriously look at this.
We are looking forward to starting school again. We will be on a more predictable routine, and hopefully we will have less accidents. I will be packing a "just in case" bag again for second grade. I will probably be packing this bag for a long time, because Michael will always be "Somewhere Over the Spectrum."
Michael is a twin, and I think that is a good thing. He has a sibling, a very bossy sibling, who is the same age. Mikayla was trained by the age of two without any problems at all. She got to go to the private pre-school early because she was potty trained. Not so for Michael. If I remember right, he got potty trained by the time he was four. I think this is a pretty good age for #1 being a boy and #2 being a boy with autism.
 |
| Chris with the twins when they were 3. Mikayla trained, Michael not so much. |
Even though he was mostly potty trained we continue to pack a "just in case" bag in his backpack for school. This "just in case bag" usually has a pair of underwear and pants, just in case of an accident. He used it a few times during this last school year (first grade), and the one time I had cleaned out his bag and didn't put a "just in case" bag in his backpack, was the one time that he had a really big accident and there weren't any extra clothes for him. That was the day that I had to run home very quickly, and missed co-teaching my 3rd grade math class. *sigh Luckily I work at the same school as the twins, so everyone was extremely forgiving.
So what is happening in Michael's head when he has an accident. I believe it is called, "I am too busy doing what I am doing, and I don't have time for any interruptions, even if it is myself that is interrupting." Many times he is building with his blocks, watching a TV show, or is on the computer playing a fun computer game. I watch him clutching his crotch and practically dancing around the room. I say to him, "Go potty, GO POTTY NOW!" Sometimes he will run off and go to the bathroom just making it by the skin of his teeth. Other time he will refuse, "I don't have to go to the bathroom," he replies, his eyes fixed on the computer screen and his dancing getting worse and worse.
Lately we have had many accidents in a row. One was caused in the kitchen (thank goodness...easy to clean floor), in his swim suit. He was trying to get a cup of water for himself and was stuck there. His dilemma was to either finish getting the glass of water, or hurry off to the bathroom. He chose the first option and peed on the floor. The next day we had an accident up in his bedroom, he was playing with blocks and had to go, he stood there screaming from his bedroom holding himself. He was stuck and couldn't "go anywhere", he was holding handfuls of pee and was afraid to move. I couldn't help him, as I am stuck on the couch with a broken foot (long story) and he was having a melt down because no one was coming to help him. He then had two more accidents that day, so there was 4 in a matter of 2 days. What in the
 |
| Having a broken foot that has 5 fusions is not easy when you have an autistic kid. |
It doesn't help to get mad or upset at him. I think when we do that, it kind of gets worse. We talk to him and tell him he needs to be more aware of this situation. Michael says, "I will try mommy." This cannot be any good for his self esteem. This isn't any good for his social image. Right now first and second graders don't catch on as quickly, but in third and fourth grade? He is going to be the "baby" who wets his pants and has to have him mommy pack him extra underwear.
Well, I blame the onslaught of accidents on summer vacation. There isn't a real routine this last week before we go back to school. There is no camp, no swim team. The twins are sleeping in later. There isn't a real schedule. Michael thrives on schedule. There is also too many "fun" things going on. It is very hard for my "normal" kid, much less my autistic kid to break away from such fun.
I also believe that all of these accidents might be a sensory issue. I do not think that Michael realizes he has to go half of the time until it is way too late. Maybe he thinks he can get to the bathroom on time. Does he actually feel the sensation to have to urinate? Maybe the sensation is muted.
I also say in the back of my mind, maybe this is an attention deficit thing. Many autistic children are also diagnosed ADD or ADHD. Sometimes I think, "Maybe we should try ADD medicine, then he would pay attention to his body and go to the bathroom on time." I am not one for medicine, but I slowly find Michael paying less and less attention. I'll wait tho and see what his second grade teacher says. If it is starting to affect academics in school, then we might have to seriously look at this.
We are looking forward to starting school again. We will be on a more predictable routine, and hopefully we will have less accidents. I will be packing a "just in case" bag again for second grade. I will probably be packing this bag for a long time, because Michael will always be "Somewhere Over the Spectrum."
Wednesday, August 14, 2013
Michael? What is it like to be autistic?
Yesterday I asked Michael, "What is it like to be autistic?" When I think back about my idiotic question, I wonder why in the world I even asked him that? How would he know what it was like NOT to be autistic. He really doesn't have anything to compare it to, because he has been autistic all of his life. Still I wanted to know if he had any feelings about it. I wanted to hear HIS definition. This is the response I received."I don't like being autistic, I don't want to be autistic," he says as he snuggles up beside me on the couch.
"Why don't you like being autistic Michael?" I say.
"I don't like to be interrupted, I want to do what I want to do. I don't want to answer questions, I just want to keep building blocks or watching my TV show."
"Ahh," I say, "You don't want to be bothered when you are concentrating on something you like."
"Yes, I want to do my own thing," he states.
"Is there anything else that you don't like about being autistic?" I ask.
"I don't like being picked last. I don't like it when I am not picked to be the AIM camper of the day. I think I am doing something all wrong. Why won't they pick me as the AIM camper of the day mommy?"
That just about broke my heart into pieces. The AIM camper of the day is when they pick the best behaved and helpful child at camp for the day. The twins have gone to camp for approximately 4 weeks. Mikayla was picked one day. Michael has not been picked yet. It reminded me of when I was a child. I was always the last one picked on any team in gym class. My heart went out to him, because I understood that part of being the last one picked.
"I don't know why honey, but you still have 3 more days to be picked as the AIM camper of the day," I feebly reply, ready to slap my forehead for giving him that hope. Sure he can be helpful, but I'm not sure about the best behaved child of the day. I quickly alter the subject.
"Michael what do you like about being autistic?" I say, looking at him expectantly.
"I don't like being autistic, I don't want to be autistic," he says emphatically.
"Don't you like being super smart in math? Don't you like being great with puzzles and figuring out games? Don't you like using that creative brain of yours?"
"Yes, I am super smart in math aren't I mommy? I like building my blocks, but I still don't like being distracted by other people." he says.
"Do you know that I love you, and even though you have autism, I wouldn't want you any other way buddy. I love you for you, and I think you are a great kid."
I have worked with Deaf students for many years, and the whole cochlear implant issue came to the forefront of my mind. When the cochlear implant was invented it could "cure" Deaf people. Many Deaf individuals didn't want to be "cured". They were Deaf and they were proud of that fact. So many times I hear people asking for a "cure" for autism. My husband, Chris, is very proud of being autistic. He doesn't want anybody changing how his brain is functioning. His ability to figure out problems is far superior than mine. If you ask our family, "Do you want to cure autism?" we'd have to say, "No, not really." We want to manage Michael's behaviors, but if we "cured" his autism, he wouldn't be the person he is.
For children with Aspergers or High Functioning Autism, I don't think we really want to cure them, just manage certain behaviors. For the children at a different end of the spectrum, it might be a different story. We want them to be able to communicate and express everything that is going on in their brains. Finding a cure for those kids and families would be a relief I would guess.
Still it is interesting what Michael says about his autism and how he feels about it. What do other autistic people feel about being "Somewhere Over the Spectrum?"
Tuesday, August 13, 2013
The Space/Time Continuum
On Sunday I tell Michael, "Ok buddy, you have camp this week. You will have a field trip on Wednesday and Thursday. This is the last week for camp because we will start school pretty soon."
"When will we start school mommy?" replies Michael.
"Oh, in 2-3 weeks. You will start school on Thursday, August 29th, " I say.
He gets all excited, because my children really do LOVE school. He smiles and says, "Oh boy, I go to the field trip and then I start school on THURSDAY!"
"Not this Thursday buddy, in 2-3 weeks," I tell him.
"Yea! In five more days I start school!" he replies.
*Sigh....it is the time thing again. I proceed to pull up my Google calendar on my Android phone and show him the month layout. I show him where he has camp and which day he starts school. I have him actually enter in the "event" that states "Michael and Mikayla start school." He happily does this, and I think he finally has it down. Thank God for calendars and clocks!
I don't know why, but I find many people who are on the spectrum have very little concept of time. Oh, they understand space pretty well. Michael can build amazing things with his blocks. They have a good understanding of quantity and measurement. They usually have really good estimating abilities with volume. They can deal with space.....but what happens to their understanding of TIME?
For many years, Michael would get very mixed up with time. Even when he speaks he will say, "You know mommy...LAST DAY!" Which in "normal speak" means yesterday. He did very well in preschool and kindergarten on every subject EXCEPT calendar time. He, like many people on the spectrum, needs a visual schedule. The speech therapist uses BoardMaker to make Michael his schedule so he knows exactly what day he is on, and what he will do that day. He knows if he has speech, or extra super smart math class. He knows when he has lunch and recess and which special (art, music or gym) he will have. He also has an icon that states if it is a topsy-turvy day, a day when an unexpected event will take place or if his schedule is a little out of whack because of a special event. He gets his schedule/routine imbedded into his mind. If we didn't start with a schedule, he would be totally lost. Oh, he does memorize it over time, to the point where he doesn't need it. But at the beginning of the new school year, we better have one in place for him.
Most people with autism cannot seem to keep track of time, and often get lost in their special project. They don't notice that they are usually late to many things, and make other people late in the process. They get caught up in their own little world, and never realize that minutes, hours or days have passed by. Everything that happened in the past for Michael is called, "Last Day". Everything that is going to happen in the future better be written on a calendar in which we can physically count the number of days to an event.
Why is it that time is such a difficult concept for him to grasp? Is it basically just "not important" enough to worry about or think about? It must be a concept that is on the very bottom rung of what is interesting to him. Maybe time is totally irrelevant for him. Other people have their time issues too, my own dad was late to my wedding, and we always joked around he'd be late to his own funeral. Yet it seems to be more extreme to ASD people. I think that it is another sure sign that Michael is definitely, "Somewhere Over the Spectrum."
"When will we start school mommy?" replies Michael.
"Oh, in 2-3 weeks. You will start school on Thursday, August 29th, " I say.
He gets all excited, because my children really do LOVE school. He smiles and says, "Oh boy, I go to the field trip and then I start school on THURSDAY!"
"Not this Thursday buddy, in 2-3 weeks," I tell him.
*Sigh....it is the time thing again. I proceed to pull up my Google calendar on my Android phone and show him the month layout. I show him where he has camp and which day he starts school. I have him actually enter in the "event" that states "Michael and Mikayla start school." He happily does this, and I think he finally has it down. Thank God for calendars and clocks!
I don't know why, but I find many people who are on the spectrum have very little concept of time. Oh, they understand space pretty well. Michael can build amazing things with his blocks. They have a good understanding of quantity and measurement. They usually have really good estimating abilities with volume. They can deal with space.....but what happens to their understanding of TIME?
For many years, Michael would get very mixed up with time. Even when he speaks he will say, "You know mommy...LAST DAY!" Which in "normal speak" means yesterday. He did very well in preschool and kindergarten on every subject EXCEPT calendar time. He, like many people on the spectrum, needs a visual schedule. The speech therapist uses BoardMaker to make Michael his schedule so he knows exactly what day he is on, and what he will do that day. He knows if he has speech, or extra super smart math class. He knows when he has lunch and recess and which special (art, music or gym) he will have. He also has an icon that states if it is a topsy-turvy day, a day when an unexpected event will take place or if his schedule is a little out of whack because of a special event. He gets his schedule/routine imbedded into his mind. If we didn't start with a schedule, he would be totally lost. Oh, he does memorize it over time, to the point where he doesn't need it. But at the beginning of the new school year, we better have one in place for him.
Most people with autism cannot seem to keep track of time, and often get lost in their special project. They don't notice that they are usually late to many things, and make other people late in the process. They get caught up in their own little world, and never realize that minutes, hours or days have passed by. Everything that happened in the past for Michael is called, "Last Day". Everything that is going to happen in the future better be written on a calendar in which we can physically count the number of days to an event.
Why is it that time is such a difficult concept for him to grasp? Is it basically just "not important" enough to worry about or think about? It must be a concept that is on the very bottom rung of what is interesting to him. Maybe time is totally irrelevant for him. Other people have their time issues too, my own dad was late to my wedding, and we always joked around he'd be late to his own funeral. Yet it seems to be more extreme to ASD people. I think that it is another sure sign that Michael is definitely, "Somewhere Over the Spectrum."
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